I like beer. I think it's the best liquid beverage after water. One might say cider is quite good too. I disagree. Another person thinks apple juice is the way to go. Wrong again. Beer is much better than cider or apple juice. Now one might comment about all this being just about opinions. Yes, it is my own opinion, and it is the only correct opinion. If you don't agree that my opinion is correct, you are wrong.

I morbidly fear blacksmiths.

My uncle was a blacksmith. He kept me in a cold well with big stone walls. That wasn't very nice of him. Mr Tudsworth the mouse said so to Mrs. Teaspoon down there one day. I occasionally tried to take a peek of her when she was behind the dressing curtain, changing her black and pearl corset. I was never caught, but the pressing rock-hard mud in the vein of my left hand informed me of my awful deed. It was hard to get any sleep at night.

Evil tongues could describe my uncle as a song from the fifties. I hardly ever paid any real attention to it. The insects aren't as mouthy as they were back then. They used to give out every inch of information about you in exchange for a sionist priest. General pity was always on Tudor's side. I wasn't one to expect love from the masses. So I mostly stayed behind and sung to the dead swan until I fell asleep.

It wasn't a happy childhood but at least I had one, because now I can target my thoughts on trickier subjects. That's why beer is great.